Sunday, January 3, 2010

Home Defense!

By Mr. Rogers

Ahhh, Snow bound. Outside the snow is piled up in drifts up to 18 inches, but inside it is cosy and warm. The pantry is stocked, Christmas cookies are plentiful, and the children have plenty of new amusements to keep them busy and happy. Everything was perfect until...
"You need to shovel the driveway", she says. "Do we really need to?" I ask (Surely it will melt eventually). "We need to be able to get out", says my perfect and practical wife. Okay, I suppose she is right. But as I head to get my coat and hat, it occurs to me that if we are able to get out then "THEY" will be able to get in.

I am talking about the hungry hoards. The hundreds of people who unwisely chose to ignore the forecasts and did nothing to prepare for current house bound conditions. Our well stocked home will be an irresistible target. A clear driveway would simply announce that this is a well prepared, well stocked home ripe for the picking.

Visions of the cold and hungry mobs roaming the streets to prey upon those of us who had the wisdom to prepare for the worst filled my mind. My wife was right we should have a way out but adequate defenses must be raised to prepare for the inevitable attacking hoards.

I knew that on my own I could easily defend two, if not three, sides of my home from attack, but that would not be enough. Mrs. Rogers had no stomach for combat and as such could only be relied on to provide material support and to assist the wounded from within the home. To whom could I turn for assistance in the coming conflict. I needed individuals who in battle would be vicious, relentless, and possess that touch of cruelty that is sadly necessary in war. My little minions were the obvious choice.

Being only children they could not openly take on the enemy and hope to over come them. But they didn't need to destroy our foes, only harrass them for I had yet another ally in this battle. The bane of armys far greater than any I would face.... winter itself. It would be my most valuable ally. If we could but survive the siege then the winter would do the rest (starving and freezing them into submission). But my little minions would need a fortress from which to engage the enemy. It should have thick walls, and a underground bunker in which seek refugee. It should be tall, as the higher ground always has the advantage. And it would be made out of the most available resource I had handy.... Snow!

So what did you all make with your kids in the snow this Christmas?

2009 Christmas Party

Do you know what the best thing about the Christmas party is? The wives. They subsidize our life style of museum going and oddly abstract art created by brilliant children. Namely ours. They provide us with the means to go to the battlefields and train yards. All that is awesome and they make it all possible. And it's great to have them come to the Christmas Party every year to finally meet the people that thier husbands hang out with. Sometimes we play with the kids, sometimes we play video games. But more than anything, it's good for them to meet the people responsible for destroying their house every Wednesday.

At the Christmas party I like to play a little game and I'm sure I'm not the only one. It's called "Who goes with who." C'mon, be honest, you all do it. We dads spend a lot of time together. And although truefully we don't discuss wives that much, we can't help but get a mental picture of everyone's significant other. and a the Christmas party, this is where whats in our head meets reality.

As we have had a ton of new members this past year, this was a very awesome game to play. We had a great turn out. A wife would walk around and I would try to guess who her husband was based on what I know from playgroups. Some are easy, some are tough. For example, Mrs. Rogers is an obvious match to Mr. Rogers. It's a no brainier. However, a tougher match is Papa Scrum and his wife. I got the impression that she is way to good for him. On the flip side, he married up so kudos to him. Well done. (Everyone calm down, it's a joke and I know them both well. And Papa Scrum would agree with me.)

It was a fun evening and not only because of the game. One of the things that I find truly special about this group is that we make an effort to get all the families together. To see these dynamics I think brings us all closer together. And you learn a few surprises. Like the wife that not only encouraged us to keep track of the college football scores but to report back to her later. Awesome. We have a Librarian wife in the group, who knew? so the next time I have a hard to find book, I know who to ask if it's been runt or merely suppressed. We have teachers executives, docs and people who are good at math. All very impressive and just a sampling of what we learn about each other when we get everyone together.

I can speak for my own wife (yes, I married up myself. Good job me.) She loves meeting those others that are in the same boat as us. She looks forward to it and enjoys seeing the faces of the people I talk about.

I do want to give a very special thanks to Papa Scrum and his wife for opening up their house and to all the people who supplied the food. Soup, deserts, and numerous things in between. All great and all good. Incidentally, the sausage roll was fan-freaking-tasitic and I haven't' had that great of a corn bread since I left Texas. It was a great year everyone, let's keep it going next year!